“Expectations”,
If I knew I were to die today I would feel incredibly unfulfilled because I have not done much of what I want. I have not myself been allowed to and I have not allowed myself to. I have not taken real risk yet and I’m glad I haven’t but that also would have stifled my potential in a few ways. I still care about people who really do not care about me back. The question is that if you never reached your “peak” did it really ever exist for you to have a chance of reaching? Or are you raising your expectations to a greater, artificial, deader standard than anybody this side of the Atlantic has seen? I have done nothing. Which is a cultural/psychological/mental shorthand for “nothing impactful”. What I have done is either meaningless or will not last long beyond my death. I am not suicidal and if you think I am you have a long way to learn. I am sad though, but I’ll get over it eventually, and then I’ll feel sad again, and then get over it again, and then feel sad because that’s what humans do. That’s what I do because I am a desiring-machine; I move from one thing to the next. A lot of people think they’re not good enough because they haven’t parted the Red Sea. Well let me tell you, Moses didn’t either.